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Are there deadbeat moms out there? I believe there are. I invite you to spend some time reading what I have to say on these pages as I describe what I believe a deadbeat mom is. I know there are more than a few pages here, so please come back again if you need to so you can read it all - you will be glad you did! Also notice the section called "Did You Know..." located near the bottom of most of the pages. This area contains interesting information drawn from studies done by: the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, the U.S. Department of Justice, the Center for Disease Control, James R. Dudley, Professor, University North Carolina, and Judith A. Seltzer, University of Wisconsin-Madison. Click here to see a complete list of the sources. I respectfully urge you not to form an opinion about this website based solely upon a quick glance at my choice of colors and graphics. Rather, please read through the site slowly and thoughtfully and afterward draw your own conclusions. When you are finished perusing the site, I encourage you to take look at the “Take the Test” page and take the test. After you have completed it, you may be surprised to learn that your definition of a deadbeat mom coincides with my own.
If you offer a cursory glance only at this site, you may mistakenly draw the conclusion that this website exists solely to bash women. Nothing could be further from the truth. There are many women in my life, friends and family members, whom I respect deeply and love dearly. These women have enriched my life in many ways. The "inspiration," a most ironic use of this positive sounding word, for DeadBEATmom dot Info is derived from the tragic and self-destructive behavior of just one female—my former wife. While I am sure most mothers are loving and decent human beings who place the welfare of their families and homes above all else, sadly this is not always the case. Regrettably, our post modern society seems to encourage many of the more undesirable traits of human behavior. As a result, our social fabric is being shredded and the strong family unit, the bedrock of any civilized society, is disintegrating. Without question, such social decline produces deadbeat dads, but in this writer’s view, moral decay has produced an equally bitter harvest of deadbeat moms. Yes, they do exist---a reality rarely acknowledged by our contempoary media.
My main goal in creating this website is to describe various behaviors that I believe have a negative effect upon the development and overall well-being of children. Should you find that you are guilty of doing any of the things discussed here, for your own benefit, and most of all for the benefit of your children, PLEASE STOP! Should you realize you have done some of these things in the past, but have since corrected your behavior, I thank you most sincerely for doing so. I assure you your child is better off for it. But have you ever sat down with your child and apologized to him or her for what you did? Have you ever explained to them that you did something that had a negative effect on their relationship with their father? Even if it was a long time ago, if you do so now it may help alleviate some of the inner stress and turmoil they surely feel resulting in what you have done to them.
I hope this website will bring more public awareness to the ongoing pain and suffering that deadbeat moms cause their children. Again, as a result of thinking about what this website discusses, I sincerely hope any mother who needs to, will rethink the way she behaves in the presence of her children. I ask this of all the women out there to whom this website applies: Which is more important to you, your love for your child and their well-being, or your anger towards your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend? I submit to you the behavior you exhibit around your children, not your words thoughts or feelings, accurately answers this question.
Many step-mothers are experiencing first-hand what I describe in these pages. Their husbands' have a child, or children, through a previous wife, or girlfriend, who are choosing to behave in a way that interferes in the relationship he has with his children.
This website is dedicated to all the men who due to no fault of their own have been alienated from their children by their ex-wife or former girlfriend. These dedicated fathers, while not perfect, have endeavored, despite discouragement and opposition, to be loving, kind, supportive, and committed parents. These are fathers who have not given themselves over to alcohol or drug abuse, nor have they physically or emotionally abused their children in any way - dads who are honestly not a threat to their children.
I created this website because I believe the relationship between my daughter and me has been seriously damaged by my ex-wife's purposeful actions over the last 9+ years. I’m tired of suffering in silence, and choose to speak about it now. By sharing my story and my ideas with others, I believe some degree of healing will come about in my life based upon this premise: Holding painful things in is not good for us, by opening up and sharing that hurt, it's possible for healing to take place.
Because I am a male, this site is constructed from a father’s perspective. Nevertheless, my principal aim is to be as fair and objective as possible about what makes some individuals deadbeat parents. Therefore, my position is this: if anybody behaves in ways described here, man or woman, that person is a deadbeat parent. It's the actions, not the gender that make one a deadbeat parent.
"Getting even" with your ex-husband almost always means hurting your child as well. Please think about this!
Most of this website is an account of my own experiences in dealing with the willfully destructive behaviors my former wife exhibited in the presence of our daughter. While I am no authority in this subject matter, nor in any psychological disorder, after conducting only minimal research, I found that deadbeat mom parenting is a very real cancer in our society. All across this land of ours, countless children suffer at the hands of a deadbeat mom daily.
The First Amendment to the Constitution affords us the right of free speech; I choose to use that right. If freedom of speech can be interpreted to allow for things as vulgar as pornography and the lyrics of some rap "songs," I can't imagine it prohibiting someone from talking about the reality of what I discuss here.
You may not like the format I have used, or images I display; nevertheless there is no getting around the reality of the facts described.
Keeping things on a level of decency, foul language and vulgar terms will not be used, nor will anybody’s identity be disclosed (except when mentioning professionals or those running support groups etc.).
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