Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

I read the following article on the Fathers are Parents Too! Website. It was written by Karen Wagner, a children’s rights advocate from Marietta, GA. Karen is a graduate of Harvard University's Graduate School of Education; she also holds a Masters Degree in Education. Click here to visit her Website.

"Father’s Day (birthdays and other holidays) for many fathers is not a cause for celebration. Instead, it’s a reminder of their ongoing estrangement from their children. There’s a scientific term for this estrangement, it’s called parental alienation syndrome (PAS) and it’s reaching epidemic proportions. It’s no surprise that this phenomena goes hand in hand with the rising divorce rate, because with divorce comes remarriage, a key “trigger” of PAS.

Mothers typically try to prove loyalty to their new spouses by supplanting them in place of the children’s biological fathers, (performing what Dr. Monty Weinstein, a national expert in PAS calls a “parendectomy”). PAS comes in many forms from mild; one parent speaking badly about the other from time to time, more destructive; trying to affect the child’s thinking about the other parent, most extreme; (and this does happen) falsely accusing a parent of child abuse solely to exclude that parent from the child’s life.

One thing all of the PAS cases have in common is that the children are placed “at risk” by the offending parent or parents. Risk – would any parent watch their children walk along a tight rope with no net 100 feet above the ground? Without any skill to make it across – they will fail. PAS not only puts the children on a tight rope, it takes away the net. Alienating parents treat their children like this in order to hurt, punish or seek revenge on their former spouses. What they don’t realize is their children become pawns in an adult game.

What kind of a father is most likely to be targeted for PAS? The following characteristics almost always apply. He avoids conflict, honors women, respects children and puts their perceived “best interest” above his own. This kind of father loses in Family Court. He will not be able to see his children because he was too “nice” and conciliatory and never thought it could happen to him. Sad to say, the Family Court system in most states is sexually biased against fathers.

The media helped over dramatize the term “Deadbeat Dads” until every father who wants to fight for any right is labeled one. It’s time to uncover the alternate phenomena – for every Dead Beat Dad there’s a Me-Me Mom. These mothers care more about control, revenge, hatred, and “getting even” than they care about the welfare of their children. The Me-Me-Mom is extremely egocentric and at best doesn’t realize the psychological and emotional damage she is doing to her children by denying them access to their fathers. There is a scientific term for the extreme example of a Me-Me Mom called Malicious Mother Syndrome.

Every leading child psychologist agrees that positive physical and emotional bonding with one’s biological parents is one of the main ingredients to healthy development. Until our Family Courts catch up with the times, judges will continue to allow mothers to deny and limit access to loving fathers. There are currently federal class action lawsuits in forty-five states brought on by non-custodial fathers who believe that the current Family Court rulings are Un-Constitutional (Fourteenth Amendment).

Many have probably heard of the International group Fathers 4 Justice. These men dress up in super hero costumes, climb public monuments and do whatever it takes to draw attention to their child custody plights. Maybe it’s time every father becomes the super hero that his child sees in him, without having to fight for the right. "

Click here to visit www.helpstoppas.com, they are an excellent website that discusses Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in detail. This has been removed from their website, but there used to be detailed there "Rick's Story", an extreme example of PAS, one that resulted in a 10-year-old child killing his father with his mother's gun. This tragic act was surely born in the mind of the mother; then under her direct influence, guiding and teaching, the minor child was used to carry out her vicious, selfish plan of revenge. Her plan included asking a defenseless child to commit a felony. Think of the horrible memories and feelings of guilt this young boy will probably carry with him for the rest of his life. I hope this mother is rotting in a jail cell right now.

Often, in the early years after a divorce, in the early years of a parenting plan, the deadBEATmom falsely accuses the father of many things. She may call the police, or drag him in and out of court, saying he is behaving in ways or doing things that are bad for the children. She may say he is not obeying the parenting plan. Later on however, it is not uncommon for this same DeadBEATmom to actually do the same things, and more, she wrongly accused the father of doing on previous occasions - but somehow this is OK.